Babysitting My Baby
by thunderpants009
Summary: AU Light needs money and to get out a hellish punishment so he got a babysitting job for a inventor who was out of town for a month.He didn't know was he was looking after a chocoholic, a albino, a redheaded game-freak, a older jam man, and a strange looking panda man. LxLight
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: AU Light needs money and needs to get out a hellish punishment so he accepted a babysitting job for a inventor who was out of town for 4 weeks. What he didn't know was he was looking after a chocoholic, a albino, a redheaded game-freak, a older jam man, and a strange looking panda man. LxLight **

**Chibi L: Another fan fiction...huh let's see if you can actually get a chapter up without it being full of mistakes. AND ALSO THIS MAY HAVE SLIGHT MISA BASHING...why did I just say that...I'm not Chibi Disclaimer- oh my cheese cake...LIIIIGGGGHHHTTTTT HELP I'M BECOMING A DISCLAIMER! **

***Chibi Light kisses a now blushing Chibi L on the cheek***

**Chibi Light: Better now?**

**Blushing Chibi L: yep but damn another fic along side- **

**Thunderpants: FATE EQUALS LUCK, was more of plot with smut and long running where this is more plot with fluff. And I want to characterize and develop ideas more, also its all in 3rd person prospective so...**

**Chibi L: Are you done.**

**Thunderpants: No... And...W-W-WELL YOUR A SMELLY NAPPY BABY!**

**Chibi L: OH YEAH, WELL YOUR A STUPID CRY BABY POOPY PANTS! **

**Chibi Light: Can we just get on with this now...I waanna fuck the dude with the crazy hair cuz apparently I'm a man whore in this...?**

**Thunderpants: And away we go. {Also I wanna be cool so I'm putting a song lyric before every chapter} **

**Chibi L: You will never be cool...unlike meeee- Milly Cyrus =P**

* * *

Chapter one.

_I'm not your boyfriend, baby_  
_I ain't your cute little sex toy_  
_I'm not your lion or your tiger_  
_Won't be your nasty little boy _

_I'm not your boyfriend, baby_  
_I can't grant your every wish_  
_I'm not your knight in shining armor_  
_So I just leave you with this kiss_

_~I'm not your boyfriend By 3OH!3_

* * *

Misa did it again. She made another move on Light. It's just this time Yagami-san just so happened to walk in on that right moment. Yep... Just his luck to be caught with a (one of many) booty-call straddling him.

So here he was in the passenger's seat in his father's car on a Saturday night going to a supermarket. Why? You may ask, because it's all part of the punishment. As Yagami-san thought he was doing the lowest crime of them all taking advantage of a woman. Even tho she was the one more into it then him; is not a woman but a slut who is obsessed with him (but she's got big tits so its okay); and he was trying to pry her off him, but let's face it that skinny hoe is quiet strong and Raito-Dearest would never hit a woman -no matter how may times he's thought of slapping that hoe up.

His father was completely furious so when he and his mother where discussing what his punishment was Sayu decided to come in and suggested that Light should be in a 6m radius to a parent at all times with his phone messages forwarded to them then giggled and left. Thank heavens above for his angelic sister who got him out of no TV for a month and now he just has to stay with his mother or father for a month...oh Lord thank you.

"Daaaaadddddddddddd!"

"What is it Light?" His father asked simply sounding so done with him.

"Well dad I was wondering if I could have some potato chips from the shop or is that not allowed as well? Oh who am I kidding you would never come up with a /unreasonable/ punishment because of the loving caring father you ar-

"SHUT THE FUCK UP LIGHT...we're here." Light was actually quiet surprised by his dads out burst but seeing as he's been putting up with Light's shit all day it's hardly that much of an anomaly.

They pulled into the car park, then entered the shop.

Yagami-san stopped in the entrance of the shop to talk to Light "Okay Light here is half of the list your mother gave me for Sayu's birthday I'll go get the items from the other side of the store while pretty much everything you need is in the other direction, see Light I'm trusting you not to do anything bad, okay?" Light nodded and walked in the other side of the store gleefully as he got rid of his father for a moment, he could hardly imagine how some criminals/suspects would survive under 24/7 surveillance.

Light was rolling his cart down the aisle while putting various things inside, "hmmm ... Sweets check...sassage rolls...check...alcohol which was written in Sayu's handwriting on the list, urh check...now time to get the cake"

Light went to get some cake, before a voice caught his attention.

"Ah Light-sama fancy seeing you here" Light turned around to see who the slightly accented voice belonged to, just to see standing there. That man hasn't aged a day.

"Oh hello, Watari-San, woah that's a lot of sugary food in your cart."

"Ah yes" then followed the awkward silence.

"..."

"..."

"Wammy-san!?" thank god his father was there to break the silence. "I haven't seen you in a long time"

"Ah yes, I was just speaking to your son Yagami-san" more like a two sentenced conversation.

"Oh I see well you should come to ours for dinner tomorrow and bring Near-san and the others we haven't met as well" Soichiro said polity even tho he hated those demon children.

"Unfortunately I'm leaving for a month on a long business trip tomorrow morning so here I am just stoking up for the children but I haven't found the children a babysitter yet so I'm going to have interviews this afternoo-

"Don't be silly Wammy-san, Light can do it" Soichiro interrupted.

"WHAT?"

"Well wouldn't that just be just spiffing"

"Light is still being punished so I must request that you ask your children to inform me if he's abusing his new found responsibility"

"Not to worry Soichiro-san," he turned his attention to Light "don't worry Light-san I'll pay you 84 500¥ (about £500) for the entire month"

Lights eyes lit up when he heard that he'll be paid like in cartoons when a character here's they've hit the jackpot and we see money signs in their eyes, basically Light at the moment. I mean ...Well he's getting paid and gets to be away from his parents, this sounded pretty reasonable to him.

"So will you do it, son?" Soichiro said but he sounded more like, 'so are you going to do it and get the fuck away from me with all your useless bitching or are you going to keep this punishment up that's torture for both of us, why oh why did I agree to this?'

"Yeah, okay- I mean how hard could it be"

Little did Light know that this would take a complete 180° turn on his own life.

* * *

**Thunderpants: and scene. **

**Chibi L: oh yeah a whole cart of cake foorr meeee, whoooop whooop. *starts pelvic trusting while chanting whoohoo* **

**Chibi Light: fuck off. **

**Thunderpants: What did I do now?**

**Chibi Light: nothing I'm just pissed off. **

**Thunderpants: well don't take it out on me**

***Chibi Light punches Thunderpants* **

**Thunderpants: Owwwww, do we have to put you in the naughty corner?**

***Chibi Light beats Thunderpants up*...hep...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thunderpants: AHHHHHH WE HAVE PEOPLE INTERESTED IN THIS STORY YAAAYYYY. HOLLA AT ME CHIBI L.**

**Chibi L: No...get away from me.**

**Thunderpants: B-but, but I'm so cute. *flutters eyelashes***

**Chibi L: I know something cuter.**

**Thunderpants: ptshhhhhh that's hard to believe.**

***Chibi L goes behind a curtain and pulls out Chibi Light dressed as a neko blushing***

**Thunderpants: ...**

**.**

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**.**

**Fine you win. -_-**

**Chibi L: Of course I do.**

**Chibi Light: Way to boost his ego.**

**Thunderpants: Let's get on with it shall we.**

**Chibi Disclaimer: I own death note...LOL jk why would I be writing fan fiction if I owned that ahhahahaahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahh**

**Also before you read this Mello, Matt, Near and Light are all in the same year, eve tho they are different ages it's because they are just that smart *rolls eyes***

**There ages are.**

**Light- 17**

**Near- 14**

**Mello- 15**

**Matt-15**

**L- 16**

**BB-18**

**Chibi B: Why can't I babysit if I'm oldest,**

***everyone gives the 'I think you know why' look to Chibi B***

**Oh and if there's any British slang you people from mystical lands (everywhere else) don't understand ...Google it.**

* * *

Chapter two.

_And as always, innocent like roller coasters._

_Fatality is like ghosts in snow and you have no idea what you're up against_

_because I've seen what they look like._

_Becoming perfect as if they were sterling silver chainsaws going cascading..._

_~ Vampires Will Never Hurt You By My Chemical Romance_

* * *

'BBBBBZZZZZZZZZ'

"Urgh ...S-stpid... Alrm" Light said tiredly, voice muffled from under his duvet. As much as Light loved his beauty sleep (not like he needs any) today was the first day on the job. He got up only in his boxers and opened his curtains, wow what a wonderful day maybe later he'll pick some hot chick up take her out to the park (look he's skint at the moment, don't judge) and then fuck her senselessly later...oh wait he had to go babysit some kids who couldn't look after themselves..._'wow...__ fun.'_

When Light was younger he always used to play with a boy a few years in his prior called Nate but everyone called him Near, he and Mr. Wammy lived a few streets away in the rich bitch area and were genially hospitable people. Near was smart and cute, girls always thought they where the coolest kids on the play ground and boys wanted to be apart of the 'Night' friends group -NFG BF ,(see what I did there). But when Light reached the ripe age if 10 and Near was 7, him and Mr. Wammy moved back to England where Mr. Wammy could look after the orphanage he owned.

Later when Light was 15 he heard that they moved back into their family estate in Japan only this time with more kids Mr. Wammy adopted, fortunately for Light he was hanging around with popular kids and even tho most people did in fact love every aspect of him and whatever he did- like he could cut of a baby's foot and people would still love him -Light knew that Near and his 'brothers' where now the Weirdo's of the school and he couldn't afford for that to effect his reputation. Funny isn't it, how you could be the most popular kid in kindergarten but then you drop down the social chain of high school popularity and end up as the school nerd/freak/weirdo, then merely are turned into the feast bitch-wads feed on to make themselves feel better.

Light now is 17 and hasn't seen his best friend in 7 years; Even around school never minding their in the same grade he would be surrounded by beautiful women (sluts) and smart men (douche bags) and didn't take note on anyone less then him on the pH scale - popular's and haters scale- besides they didn't even have any of the same classes together.

Although Light was dreading going he wondered how much Near must have changed, 7 years was a long time so by now Near-chan must be hitting puberty and beginning to feel weird and- Wait!... who are we kidding Near is to high and mighty for hormones.

Light turned away from his own thoughts and preceded his normal routine and when he got his hair just the way he (and everyone else) likes he walked down stairs to be greeted by Sachiko and the delightful smell of morning Waffle's.

"Oh Light dear, I packed your little suitcase and your carry on and left it by the front door." Light's mother said in a worried tone

"Ha, mum you make it sound like I'm going away abroad when I'm only going a few streets away" Light said trying to reassure her, "Besides I'm probably will come home over this month so quit worry, you make ,we worry." To be honest Light-dearest didn't give two shits if she was worried a lot, I mean it's not like he's a selfish horny teenager...oh wait no, yes my bad he_ is _a selfish horny teenager.

Light finished his breakfast at the table with his mother making small talked about school and plans then drifted to why Gordie Shore has made them give up all hope in humanity, it seemed she forgave him easier than his father. Finally it was time to go but before Light could merely touch the door handle he was tackled to the ground by Sayu.

"Opf- Sayu what the hell-"

Sayu now of Light stood directly in front of him, with her hands on her hips and one leg slightly bent, the normal fighting stance for a teenage girl.

"Are you not going to say goodbye before leaving?"

"Urm, well -" Light got up brushing off imaginary dust and sorting out his perfect hair before straightening up so he was a full 13 inches taller than her.

"Okay okay I get it you wanna have fun with the albino but before you do, I want to give you this" Sayu leaned in and put something in his back trouser pocket, "trust me I've seen L and you'll need these"

"Sayu what the actual fu-and who even is L- SAYU GET YO' ASS BACK HERE.

"LIGHT WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE ITS IMPOLITE SO SWEAR ALL THE FUCKING TIME" Light's mother called out from the kitchen.

DING DONG.

Light as he was standing by the door opened it to see Mr. Wammy in his usual attire of a black suit and tie and a small polite smile on his face.

"Ah Yagami-kun I was just about to leave for the airport and wanted to know if you would like a lift to the house?"

"Oh Wammy-san its no problem, it's not that far so I should walk-"

"Nonsense! Say no more it would be my delight to take you. "

"Okay then" Light back down, even tho most times he normally is quiet stubborn, a free lift could never be ignored.

Light walked out of his house and was awed by the sight in front of him it seems that Watari had been busy lately and brought a jet black Lamborghini. Watari merely laughed at Lights expression.

"Get in Yagami-san," Watari said opening the car door for him. Light felt a tiny bit better about going because it seemed more like Watari was his chauffeur and he was being whisked away to his dream home full of Playboy bunnies. Even some of the bunnies would be going at it themselves like proper girlxgirl action whilst Light watched and slowly pumped-

"We're here." Light was interrupted from his daydream by the sound of Watari's voice.

Light looked up at the mansion in front of him, it seemed smaller than he remembered but none the less as grand. When Light was younger he always used to be around here playing with Near, it was practically his second home, so when he came he expected it to be the same as 3ft Light remembered.

Light walked to the front door carrying his suitcase whilst Watari was carrying his smaller traveling bag. They stopped at the front door, the door itself was magnificent, it was a massive oak one with numerous engravings of Gothic pattens, around it tho had a massive black frame with its own unique engraving- this was just a snippet of their incredible wealth.

"Now Light I must take my leave now but if you need to contact me, I have left all important numbers on the memo pad next to the telephone."

"Oh don't worry Wammy-sama I'm sure everything will be fine,

Creeeeeeeak

"Light-san is that you?" A soft voice said, the owner emerging from the heavy door mere seconds ago.

Light turned around and saw the same little

"Neary?

Near engulfed Light into a hug, Light was stunned by these actions as Near always seemed like a person who kept to himself, this was very strange especially after what happened...until he stood on his tippy toes and harshly whispered into Lights ear. "Listen here Light...-sama, if you ever hurt me or anyone else for that matter like you did before I will chop off your dick, slice and dice it and make I nice stew out off before giving it to Miss. Amane. Got it." Woah, woah, woah...woah like what the actual woaaahhh. _I -what- who's L?- why is near being a bitch- why does it seem like he's trying to choke me...?...well that's more like the hello i was expecting. _

Light broke away from the bone crushing hug to say goodbye and thank you for the lift to Watari. Light and Near walked inside with a heavy tense cloud following them. As they reached the living room Lights jaw dropped, next to the massive oak coffee table, towering sugar cubes into a mug was none the other then -

"Yagami-sama?"

"Ryuzaki...why are you here?"

"It seems that I should be asking Yagami-sama why he feels the need to_ invade my home?"_ L asked the rhetorical question coldly, he knew someone was babysitting but why did it have to be _him._ Light shivered from the cold heartlessness in L's voice but he couldn't blame him he did act like a massive asshole

"L, you know Light-san?" Near questioned.

"Unfortunately. "

* * *

**Thunderpants: And I'm ending it here.**

**Chibi Light: Why am I so horrible? ...and now I have beef with L?**

**Thunderpants: Oh no my dear Chibi Light I'm just a terrible person who still has a grudge from certain events in episode 25...**

**Chibi L: Me too, that ducking bitch- So does anyone wanna see how Mellow gunna react to Light and his dispute with me in the past?**

**Chibi Mello: I will cut a bitch.**

**Chibi Light: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH**

***Chibi Light hides behind Thunderpants using her as a human shield* ...eep...hep...**


End file.
